Sunday, September 22, 2013
[3:17 PM]

something which i did for a personal profile requested by the profile. some parts may be true... or may be not. believe what you want

“Push!” encouraged the nurse. Beads of perspiration started to form on the woman’s forehead. The wails of a newborn soon resonate throughout the delivery room.
“It’s a boy!” the doctor congratulated the parents. The newborn was soon carried off to the nursery where he joined the other newborns, who are the fellow competitors in this rat race.

Fast forwarding 7 years, this boy grew up to be just like the others; ordinary and nothing special, no talents nor gifted. He was enrolled in the same primary school as his elder brother and soon he realised he was always in the shadows of his brother. He has a younger sister, 2 years his junior. Both are academically inclined, in fact, everyone in his family is, including his extended family. This boy did not have a liking for books. He likes how things works, how things move and the principles behind them; he loves to explore things but hates how things are always fixed in textbooks and exams. He hates rote learning. And maybe because he was asthmatic that his parents forbade of him joining anything that is physical demanding. He grew up to be socially awkward due to the various restrictions set by his parents which in summary, would only allow him to be present either at home or in school. Most of his activities were done inside his head, building sand castles in the air while others were busy solving mathematics equations or fumbling with English grammar. How he wish to be free, yearn to fly away like the characters in storybooks.

The castle crumbled during the release of PSLE results. No one expected him to do well, but ironically, no one expected him to fare badly either. He didn’t manage to get into any secondary schools of his choice, or to put it crudely, his parent’s choice. He entered some neighbourhood school, unlike his siblings or cousins. He tried to change, to fit into social norm and started working hard, fitting into the system. He got into the better stream there but he wasn’t happy; that wasn’t what he wanted in life. He became rebellious, against the social norms; he feels that academic results aren’t everything wanted to find his way of life. And naturally, he didn’t perform well in his O levels. He knew he was a disappointment in his family but all he can do is to bid for his time, to prove them his way isn’t wrong.

He got into some newly opened polytechnic. That was where he found his place, he enjoyed learning there as it was about applications and it made sense to what he was studying. He knew he was physically weak comparing to the other boys of his age especially when he tried contact sports but he loves the rush of the adrenaline and the competition. He knows he have to make up with hard work for the talent he lacks and worked towards his goal of not losing to anyone who he deems didn’t deserve to win.

His efforts finally started to pay off, which is why he chose to christen himself ‘Joseph’, he read the story how Joseph was a slave but rose to be the second most powerful man but the difference was that this 19 year old boy didn’t yearn for power, just recognition from the others. He served his obligations and maybe because he was once weak, he knew how it felt and thus the empathy towards others. Maybe that was what his superior saw in him but he couldn’t care less. He was just living his life, living everyday as if it is his last, trying to create a purpose for his life. Maybe he was just scared that he wasn’t real, he would like to leave down a legacy, somehow, somewhere, where people will remember him.


Beautiful times didn’t really last long. Joseph realised that he have to play the games of the society and win in order to change the rules and break the stereotypes. He went back to study in university, to get a degree just like the others. He barely scrapped through the first semester and he worked harder, until he feels that the race is totally meaningless. He didn’t want a 8 to 5 job which he know he will start doubting his purpose of existence at the end of his day. He didn’t know what he wanted. He took the shortest possible route to graduate. And since he couldn’t find a sense of purpose for himself, he hoped to help the others who are less fortunate could have the chance to seek a purpose if given a chance... (To be cont)