attending some event has just confirmed what was in my mind for a long time. i guess i'm just that cheap. trying to fit in when i know i'll just stick out like a sore thumb. why am i just trying so hard? i do appreciate people who accept me for who i am. i really do. maybe all this time i still can't accept me for who i am? the tall freak which is always out of place. but sometimes it just really sucks when you try to go the extra mile for some people and yet to be treated like some.. i don't know. then again. why do i expect something in return? since when did i regain in the faith of people treating others like how you've treat them? makes me remember how stupid it is to write in autobiography books during primary school about 'best friends' and all those shit. to you, they may be your best friends. to them, they may barely know you. pardon me for being so cynical. maybe all the idling has made me cranky. just like me become a ghost and disappear behind the scene a little extreme but who knows.. maybe it's true