Saw what I didn't expect nor want to see... I saw her smoke, she picked it up as an output for her sadness and anger? Who am I to judge her? My output method ain't any healthier. But it just bring me down to see her self destruction because of a minor problem, which i think it is.

She reminds me of myself, when I was inexperience, hot headed and expressing the way I feel whenever I like. But as days go, I just realise, in singapore, there's a hierachy system, the one with power rules over the others, no point in fighting back, resistence is futile...

That explains why I hardly argue, but that doesn't mean I don't, it's just pointless. Might as well use the energy and time to think of other alternatives.

Wanted to walk her home and have a chat with her, but she's meeting the Carlos, Brandon and Imran.

Kinda pissed off by them. Asked Imran if he knows she's working in the KTV, when i saw her smoking. He's reply was 'yes'... and he supported her... What the Fuck... he even says he treated her like a sister, so does Carlos and Brandon.. But guess what, they even offered her a cigeratte. It really changes my impression of them. I thought she's in good hands with them, but as usual, I was wrong...

At a loss. Don't know what to do. It's the first time a girl can affect my emotions till this stage.



Finally know where my wishy-washy problem came from, and how the rest who went out with me felt. This is the time that I wish my genes mutated. I inherited this characteristic from my parents. was kinda put off by their 'want to buy but dun wan to buy' attitude....


I wonder how she's doing now...