If anyone notices my msn avatar, they would have realise my avatar revolves on the emotion 'hollow' and 'troubled'.. guess that's what i'm feeling now.... bahx... relationships.

so.. things turn out.. saw her at the workplace.. life is just like schoolwork to me now, or watching a movie. everything is so predictable.

However, when I saw her at the workplace yesterday, but didn't dare to communicate much, for fear of being poked fun by the other colleagues and also she was having fun with the other colleagues... haix.. dun wanna bother her..

Seriously.. I'd be the luckiest man if she could take the initiative to sms me.. but I knew that it is impossible... it's just like the lyrics in Hotel California 'she has many many pretty boys, whom she call friends'.. yeah.. she's always texting someone or calling someone... but most of the time, she receives call...

ironically, i'll always be the one taking the initiative by asking something related to work.. however, it would always turn out to a chat... it's like the song 'where she'd go' by Fort Minor.

hope time can numb my feelings.. so much thing to do. yet so little time... if only there's 25hrs in a day

seriously... i'm wondering why things always have to happen this way, i'm alright pretending i am.. but burying all the emotions deep inside me with no output.. trying to be cheerful, joking, clowning around till the stage that people think i'm never seriously...

people who don't really know me well thinks that certain words ain't possibly come out from my mouth... therefore, when gt sabo-ed.. they'll know that these words aren't spoken by me... but those who know me really well... will know that those words that seem impossible to come out from my mouth are those that i really yearn to speak it and when spoken, i really meant it...