it's been a rough period of time for the past couple of days


sat.. was actually my granpa's 1st anniversary. but chose to spent it with shan bei. I don't wish to be a hypocrite. If you don't care about the person when he's alive, then what for pay respect only when he's dead? no.. i do care about my grandpa when he's alive... only when i was small. was given little dim sum treats.. but as i grow older, the communication barrier just grew and we can't communicate. he gave me chocolate treats occasionally and i smiled like i really do. but that's all. seriously, the impression he's given me is fading away. just like old documents, chucked away in a corner. sometimes i even tend to forget him. but hey, unlike my godma... who scolds him at times for being foolish? Damn.. kinda hated her... but not only her, all my relatives. heard from my bro that alot of people turn up. but how many of them really cared for him when he was still alive? and what's the use of only showing that they still 'respect' him when he's dead.. is it offerings are cheaper then real life things?

sun. checked my bank acc... wa! 2mths of my pay is not in my bank. ho sei... had a coffee session as Imran is back temporary. took a cab home.. fucking asshole.. tt cab driver tink he acting initial d... gear keep changing.. speed meter also.. but is decreasing... purposely wait for red light... speed went as 'fast' as 40km/h... na bei... ride tricycle also faster... practically stop at every traffic light.

mon... think i should really stop communicating with my parents le, the communication barrier is getting wider. maybe it's just me. but give me a few more years. i'll get out of this god damn house. so my mom asked why i even bothered to work for a couple of hours, so i just told her cost of living is high. and of all people, she told my dad. so tt freaking guy came and asked me why isn't my pocket money enough... wa lao.. he think he still living in the olden days... 5 cents can buy 1 bowl of kok kok mee... and worse of all, I DIDN'T ASK A SINGLE CENT FROM HIM!!! and he was like, i give you wad is sufficient, i dun wan you to have fun... fuck you... NEH! _1_... so i just shot him right back in his face tt i'm not asking him for anything.. then he continue to kao bei.. as if he correct. can't bother to argue with him. i'm a caged bird which have seen the bigger sky... if you think that a cheap method like this could control me, you can try having a dog instead.

another thing.. mom asked wad i ate for dinner since i finished it soon. so i just told her, veggie, soup and squid.. she was like wa! there's fish, crabstick, tofu, mushroom you dun eat... but i was like wtf!? my bro finished the whole fucking pot of thing la... u expect me eat wad shit? then she kaobu again.. she insist got... so i just showed her the pot.. she diam diam... guess wad my bro said... he finished eating and dun wan to eat, so i finished... wa fuck! really wanna gan bad words le....

-fist shaking violently- I may just break down any moment.. am i tt easily misunderstood?